But today, I get to toot my own horn, because my kids showed me that while they may act like selfish little crotchfruits to each other - and this gives me great hope for when we have a third.../sarcasm - they really can rise to the occasion and be selfless little darlings. Without me standing behind them kicking them in the ass to prompt their lines.
My sister is going through a rough patch right now - suffice to say, as of tomorrow morning she'll have absolutely nothing to her name except 4 kids, 4 twin beds, and a sofa. I told her that I wished that I could come down to help her, but with gas prices the way they are and us being a single income family, there's no way I'd be able to afford the gas to take the trip to see her (she lives 4 hours away, I'm really not that big of a selfish bitch). I did tell her that I'd help the Things pick out some toys to send down with my brother, who's going down to help her.
It started with me organizing Thing 2's room - sweet baby Jesus, that room was a wreck. I found a half-eaten bagel and an apple slice - I didn't even know she had brought food up there (note to self - explain why bugs in the house are a VERY BAD THING). Three bags full of trash later, I'd managed to consolidate her toys down to 6 Rubbermaid totes - to be fair, 4 totes were stuffed animals - with some various tiny crap like Littlest Pet Shop pets in baskets and bowls around her room.
I swear, these things will eat your soul with their eyes.
The next part I knew would be the hardest - actually persuading a 5 year old with ADHD and anxiety with OCD tendencies to part with some of her most beloved objects. Even harder than that - cajoling a 7 year old with autism and severe attachment issues to part with anything. I may as well have asked a homeless person to give me their last piece of food while I was stealing the money people had given them.
Boy, was I wrong.
It took a little explaining what was happening (including a necessary talk about why married people should never ever ever hit each other and that she should never tolerate it from anyone she knows), and Thing 2 parted with 2 totes worth of toys. This kid gave up 1/3 of her toys - including some prized possessions, such as some of the said LPS and some Dora stuff - so that her cousins could have some toys. She also agreed that we should send our collection of Goosebumps novels to her oldest cousin, who's turning 13 in a few weeks and does nothing but read. I was so amazed at her generosity, and I definitely let her know how proud of her I was, and that I was very impressed with her selflessness, and that her cousins and her aunt were going to be immensely grateful. She was very proud of herself - I think she finally understood for a few seconds that sometimes, there are people worse off than you are, and it's our job as fellow humans to help them when we can.
Thing 1 - who gets off the bus after Thing 2 - started to give me a little trouble. She really understands more about human emotions than she lets on, I think. I didn't even need to explain what had happened, as soon as I told her who it was for, she said "Yep, I changed my mind. I'll give them some of my toys." I'm glad she did, but I need to work with her more that generosity should extend to those outside of your family as well. She only gave three things, but considering that 1) she only has one bin of toys to begin with, and most of those are hats and purses, and 2) what she did give was meaningful to her, I was very impressed. She was more worried about my nephew, who's about to turn 5 in July, than my nieces - she knew that Thing 2 had donated mostly girly stuff for the nieces, and since she had the more tomboyish toys, she felt that he would like them most of all.
Their generosity inspired me as well - I couldn't bear to look around and see my kids being so selfless, and then not be moved by it at all. So as of tomorrow, when my brother goes to help her leave, he'll be bringing 2 boxes of toys, a box of books, a box full of bedsheets and blankets (I kept one spare set for each bed in the house), some crayons and coloring books, a VCR with about 15 videos - thank God for Half Priced Books! - and a television.
This is where Mr. Berry had stepped up to the plate - I had called to tell him that I was watching my brother's daughter for him while he and his wife went to help my sister, and I explained to him what was going on. It was totally his idea to send the TV and VCR and to go buy some kid videos for her kids to watch. He totally reminded me today why I married him <del>a billion</del> eight years ago.
Today reminded me that I really am a very lucky woman. For all the trouble that my family has, what with multiple doctor's appointments every week for Thing 2, battling with the insurance company to get at least something covered for Thing 1, Mr. Berry's hectic work schedule and worries of finding employment in the teaching field with Ohio's public servants being buttfucked, keeping the house clean and food on the table...
I'm reminded that I at least have all this shit that drives me crazy. And I'd rather be crazy with my family than sane without them.
They're totally worth it.
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